Monday, December 5, 2011
Wait, what?
Do you ever have a day when you just look at your life and say "Hu?" I've been having a lot of those lately. I've been struggling to keep perspective, see the big picture. Every day is filled with so many brain mushing activities. Things that need to be done, things that are necessary, but I don't really see the point. I have trouble seeing past my immediate circumstances the last several months. Knowing that I have goals that I will accomplish "someday" doesn't exactly comfort me in the everyday grind of life...
I don't really have a lot to complain about. I have a family that cares about me and (most of them, lol) like to be around me. :) I have a job, which in the current market, is something to be grateful for. I have the best friends a girl could ask for, for which I thank God every day. I have a home with a comfy bed. I have never truly been without food. I have transportation. I have the ability to communicate with those I love, and even a few strangers too. ;) I have a wonderfully amazing volunteer job working with some of the most awe-inspiring animals a person can ever hope to be around. And currently, I have the most amazing Christmas tree in my living room. And to top it all off, I have a personal relationship with the creator of the universe who happens to love me a whole lot... That's a pretty impressive list, don't you think? I am SO very grateful for all of the blessings in my life, especially when I take a moment to look around at the world around me.
I guess the "Hu?" comes from all my preconceived ideas. All the "plans" I made for myself all of my life. The things I thought I would have accomplished by this point in my life. It becomes very difficult to keep the big picture in my head when I realize that not one of the "big" things on my list of goals for my life is anywhere even close to being made a reality. Of course, I did just have a birthday a couple of weeks ago. I tend to think this way around my birthday. It's kind of like a yearly check up on my own progress. The problem being that, I don't see much progress. :/
I know what you're thinking, "Quit moaning! Didn't you JUST list how many things you have going for you?! Geez!" "Hey! Don't feel bad, just focus on all the positive things you listed above!" You would be right on both counts. But what can I say? That's how I feel today, and quite often recently.
On a brighter note, I had a wonderful week of birthday celebrations last month. I felt SO loved and SO blessed, even amidst all my yearly grumbling over my lack of goal achievement. AND it's almost Christmas! My favorite time of year! I'm going to log off now, so I can continue my vigilant prayers for snow. :)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Heat Induced Insanity
Insane. My whole life at the present moment summed up in one little word, insane. Not in a bad way, just a, well, insane way. I have been extremely busy doing things I love. Which, if I think about it, is the best kind of busy. :) On the downside, the warm weather has arrived. :( So, I am very uncomfortable. I can't stand heat. I get heat exhaustion very easily, migraines and nausea and all, not to mention the fact that I am allergic to sun. Really, I break out in very painful hives. As a result, I have quite the collection of parasols as well as umbrellas that are never used for rain. haha
I am gearing up for fair season with Sardis. I am going to 3 fairs this year. The first, the Grant County fair, runs August 15-20. A week off work, doing other work. :) I can't actually afford to take the time off, but I need a break from my usual routine. Also, there are only a few available to cover it. I'm really excited to go! Even if Grant County is predicting temperatures in the mid 90s... I love my work with Sardis and am willing to deal with the soul-crushing heat. Ah well, I can stand a week of soul-crushing, if it means being with my birds and friends. :) In September, there is the Chelan County Fair, then at the end of the month, a few days in Levenworth. I can't wait! I do a little dance of excitement every time I think about the going on the fairs. The 14th of this month is a BIG day... My one year anniversary of working at Sardis! That day falls one day before my first fair starts :)
Well, I suppose that's it for now. Have a lovely day!
I am gearing up for fair season with Sardis. I am going to 3 fairs this year. The first, the Grant County fair, runs August 15-20. A week off work, doing other work. :) I can't actually afford to take the time off, but I need a break from my usual routine. Also, there are only a few available to cover it. I'm really excited to go! Even if Grant County is predicting temperatures in the mid 90s... I love my work with Sardis and am willing to deal with the soul-crushing heat. Ah well, I can stand a week of soul-crushing, if it means being with my birds and friends. :) In September, there is the Chelan County Fair, then at the end of the month, a few days in Levenworth. I can't wait! I do a little dance of excitement every time I think about the going on the fairs. The 14th of this month is a BIG day... My one year anniversary of working at Sardis! That day falls one day before my first fair starts :)
Well, I suppose that's it for now. Have a lovely day!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Gettin' Edumicated
A couple of years ago, I found this course. The Cornell Lab of Ornithology Home Study Course in Bird Biology. I was VERY interested. At that point however, I couldn't afford it, so I tried to put it out of my mind. :/ A few weeks back, a fellow bird brain posted a link to the course page. I exclaimed that I had looked into it previously, and she asked if I wanted to take it with her...
Ummm, YES!!!
I started squealing with excitement.
After a bit though, we hit a snag. The textbook the course requires is out of print. Drat! The course site suggested looking for used copies. My friend found one for the bargain price of $300 dollars, which was $100 more than the cost of the whole course. I found one for a steal at $625. It wasn't encouraging... But, low and behold, on her birthday, she found the book delivered to her!
Last night, after much anxious anticipation, we got together. We both logged on, paid for and ordered the course materials, and started learning!
This textbook is only 10 chapters long, with a short introduction. It adds up to over 1200 pages. We spent four happy hours, reading through and taking notes on, the short introduction, ie the history of Ornithology. Yep, you read that right, four hours. :) We spent a lot of time giggling in glee and "Ooh"ing and "Aah"ing over all the information and nifty diagrams/pictures. We totally geeked out. It's fortunate that nobody was around to witness it. hahaha :)
It was an exceptionally happy evening. I got to drench myself in new information on one of my favorite topics, spend time with a good friend, and laugh my head off while snacking on some delicious smoked Gouda. What more could a girl ask for?
It was as I was driving home, still crazy hyper with joy, that it hit me... I knew from the time that I made the decision, that staying in Bellingham was the right decision, but driving home last night, I found an absolute confirmation. The step of faith I took in deciding to stay, was SO the right one. I felt SO much joy and SO much peace... I feel that life has finally begun...
(To go off this rather serious topic, I had THE MOST bizarre dreams last night! Both were related in some way to what we studied. I wish I could describe them here, but there just isn't time. ;)
Ummm, YES!!!
I started squealing with excitement.
After a bit though, we hit a snag. The textbook the course requires is out of print. Drat! The course site suggested looking for used copies. My friend found one for the bargain price of $300 dollars, which was $100 more than the cost of the whole course. I found one for a steal at $625. It wasn't encouraging... But, low and behold, on her birthday, she found the book delivered to her!
Last night, after much anxious anticipation, we got together. We both logged on, paid for and ordered the course materials, and started learning!
This textbook is only 10 chapters long, with a short introduction. It adds up to over 1200 pages. We spent four happy hours, reading through and taking notes on, the short introduction, ie the history of Ornithology. Yep, you read that right, four hours. :) We spent a lot of time giggling in glee and "Ooh"ing and "Aah"ing over all the information and nifty diagrams/pictures. We totally geeked out. It's fortunate that nobody was around to witness it. hahaha :)
It was an exceptionally happy evening. I got to drench myself in new information on one of my favorite topics, spend time with a good friend, and laugh my head off while snacking on some delicious smoked Gouda. What more could a girl ask for?
It was as I was driving home, still crazy hyper with joy, that it hit me... I knew from the time that I made the decision, that staying in Bellingham was the right decision, but driving home last night, I found an absolute confirmation. The step of faith I took in deciding to stay, was SO the right one. I felt SO much joy and SO much peace... I feel that life has finally begun...
(To go off this rather serious topic, I had THE MOST bizarre dreams last night! Both were related in some way to what we studied. I wish I could describe them here, but there just isn't time. ;)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
The last eight months or so, have been full of new experiences. I have met a lot of new people that have had amazing positive influences in my life. I have been given the opportunity to live out some of my deepest passions and dreams. Certain parts of who I am, that had been left dormant and small, have been allowed to come forward and grow. I have learned a lot about myself and who I really am. I have also learned who I am not.
I am not someone who is afraid of new things, of taking risks. I am not someone who will sit back, and allow life to pass me by. I am not someone who quietly observes another person's suffering. I am not the talentless dunce of the family, as I had long thought...
I have spent years believing that I am stuck. That I have nothing real to offer the world. That who I am is so ordinary, that nobody would really want to know me. Over the last few years, God has had me on a journey to discover the truth about myself. But the last eight months, it's been happening at an accelerated speed.
Last Summer I began making plans to go to school in England, in earnest. I found that, even though I was nervous, and a little bit scared, I was REALLY doing it! I was doing something very new and rather brave, and I wasn't too scared to do it. I was astonished at myself. The audacity of thinking the I could do such a thing!
At the first of this year, I applied for financial aid, started communicating with the school, and planning my new phase of life. Imagine my surprise to discover that I was already living a new phase of life. I was surrounded by friends new and old, by family. I had been given all kinds of new connections here. The idea of leaving Sardis and the people I have gotten to know there, people who really understand my passion for wildlife, particularly birds of prey, was difficult. My life had changed for the better since I began volunteering there. My new friends, Jess, Reed, Shayla, Evan, Bethany, Kevin, and Josh to name names, have enriched my life in a way I have never experienced before. I FINALLY found people who get excited over things like knowing the difference between a Barred Owl and a Barn Owl, like I do!!! I am no longer the bird-brain amongst the non bird-brained. :) (Thank you guys for letting me into the club and letting me be ME!)
I felt an inner nudge. I began looking into local Veterinary Technician courses. I started asking questions at Sardis about how things work...
I have made a HUGE decision.
I am staying in Bellingham... For now at least. :) Moving to England is still a dream of mine and I plan to do so for a while at some point. But for now, I am happy here, and I no longer feel stuck. I have direction. I KNOW that I am capable of getting into a foreign university, of making the plans to go, of leaving. I am not afraid to step out anymore. That is a big deal. But I also know that I am brave enough to stay. That I don't have to run away...
Life is looking a whole lot brighter
Finally, I want to say thank you to all my friends and family. You supported me as I pursued moving off the continent. You told me it was okay to go. You told me it was okay to stay. I love you all.
I am not someone who is afraid of new things, of taking risks. I am not someone who will sit back, and allow life to pass me by. I am not someone who quietly observes another person's suffering. I am not the talentless dunce of the family, as I had long thought...
I have spent years believing that I am stuck. That I have nothing real to offer the world. That who I am is so ordinary, that nobody would really want to know me. Over the last few years, God has had me on a journey to discover the truth about myself. But the last eight months, it's been happening at an accelerated speed.
Last Summer I began making plans to go to school in England, in earnest. I found that, even though I was nervous, and a little bit scared, I was REALLY doing it! I was doing something very new and rather brave, and I wasn't too scared to do it. I was astonished at myself. The audacity of thinking the I could do such a thing!
At the first of this year, I applied for financial aid, started communicating with the school, and planning my new phase of life. Imagine my surprise to discover that I was already living a new phase of life. I was surrounded by friends new and old, by family. I had been given all kinds of new connections here. The idea of leaving Sardis and the people I have gotten to know there, people who really understand my passion for wildlife, particularly birds of prey, was difficult. My life had changed for the better since I began volunteering there. My new friends, Jess, Reed, Shayla, Evan, Bethany, Kevin, and Josh to name names, have enriched my life in a way I have never experienced before. I FINALLY found people who get excited over things like knowing the difference between a Barred Owl and a Barn Owl, like I do!!! I am no longer the bird-brain amongst the non bird-brained. :) (Thank you guys for letting me into the club and letting me be ME!)
I felt an inner nudge. I began looking into local Veterinary Technician courses. I started asking questions at Sardis about how things work...
I have made a HUGE decision.
I am staying in Bellingham... For now at least. :) Moving to England is still a dream of mine and I plan to do so for a while at some point. But for now, I am happy here, and I no longer feel stuck. I have direction. I KNOW that I am capable of getting into a foreign university, of making the plans to go, of leaving. I am not afraid to step out anymore. That is a big deal. But I also know that I am brave enough to stay. That I don't have to run away...
Life is looking a whole lot brighter
Finally, I want to say thank you to all my friends and family. You supported me as I pursued moving off the continent. You told me it was okay to go. You told me it was okay to stay. I love you all.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Happiness and Peace Every Saturday Morning
Exactly 5 weeks ago, I started volunteering at Sardis Raptor Center. It's a little piece of heaven to me. Sardis is a bird of prey rescue and rehabilitation center here in Whatcom County. The people of Sardis rescue wounded birds of prey and give them the medical assistance that they need. Birds that can be, are released back out into their natural environment. Birds that are unable to care for themselves in the wild are kept at the center and used to educate the community about animal conservation. For more information go here. I have always wanted to do this, but felt that I never had the time. I have the same amount of time now as I always have, but I finally decided to go for it. And I am SO glad that I did.
I spend every Saturday morning up to my elbows in chicken guts and blood, raw cow livers, and occasionally even some things that used to be fish. The smells are... Beyond description. I scrub poop out of cages and wash bloody dishes. And I am SO happy. :D
The very first day, I got to walk into an enclosure housing 8 Bald Eagles and 1 Turkey Vulture. An enclosure housing a Barred Owl. An enclosure housing a Great Horned Owl... I put out food for them, cleaned out and filled their water dishes, and gathered the left-overs. It is truly breathtaking. I get to spend time with and care for some of God's most amazing creatures.
Since the first day, I have fed pretty much every bird in the center... Golden Eagles, Red Tail Hawks, Swainson's Hawks, Barn Owls, and even a Sea Gull! In a couple of months I will get trained on how to handle the birds on gloves! So exciting!!! Last week was huge... We were very low staffed as most of the volunteers were away on a show. There was only one volunteer there who was trained to handle the birds... We have an Osprey in the clinic who has to be hand fed. This other volunteer needed help, and I wasted NO time in offering! He caught her in a sheet and handed her to me! I got to hold her for about 20 minutes while he fed her then cleaned out her cage. I was ridiculously happy! Today, as he and I were the only volunteers in, I got to hold her again! I also got to hold an immature Red Tail Hawk while he gave it an injection. :D I was also graduated to feeding the birds in the enclosures on my own.
I can't really explain how happy I am every Saturday. Words are not enough. I spend each day anxiously awaiting the return of Saturday. I am brought nearly to tears by the wonder and beauty of these animals. I can't see me ever getting used to the feeling of privilege I experience in the presence of these phenomenal birds. If you get the chance, come out and see them. I would love to take you on a tour, and share my love of these birds with you. (We are open to the public on Saturdays from 11 am to 4 pm.)
Have a blessed day. :)
I spend every Saturday morning up to my elbows in chicken guts and blood, raw cow livers, and occasionally even some things that used to be fish. The smells are... Beyond description. I scrub poop out of cages and wash bloody dishes. And I am SO happy. :D
The very first day, I got to walk into an enclosure housing 8 Bald Eagles and 1 Turkey Vulture. An enclosure housing a Barred Owl. An enclosure housing a Great Horned Owl... I put out food for them, cleaned out and filled their water dishes, and gathered the left-overs. It is truly breathtaking. I get to spend time with and care for some of God's most amazing creatures.
Since the first day, I have fed pretty much every bird in the center... Golden Eagles, Red Tail Hawks, Swainson's Hawks, Barn Owls, and even a Sea Gull! In a couple of months I will get trained on how to handle the birds on gloves! So exciting!!! Last week was huge... We were very low staffed as most of the volunteers were away on a show. There was only one volunteer there who was trained to handle the birds... We have an Osprey in the clinic who has to be hand fed. This other volunteer needed help, and I wasted NO time in offering! He caught her in a sheet and handed her to me! I got to hold her for about 20 minutes while he fed her then cleaned out her cage. I was ridiculously happy! Today, as he and I were the only volunteers in, I got to hold her again! I also got to hold an immature Red Tail Hawk while he gave it an injection. :D I was also graduated to feeding the birds in the enclosures on my own.
I can't really explain how happy I am every Saturday. Words are not enough. I spend each day anxiously awaiting the return of Saturday. I am brought nearly to tears by the wonder and beauty of these animals. I can't see me ever getting used to the feeling of privilege I experience in the presence of these phenomenal birds. If you get the chance, come out and see them. I would love to take you on a tour, and share my love of these birds with you. (We are open to the public on Saturdays from 11 am to 4 pm.)
Have a blessed day. :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
God's Funny
As I stated in my last post, this has been a day of sadness... But good things are happening too!
For MONTHS I have been looking for ways to supplement my income. I have debts to pay, and I need to save for school. I have spent hours every day, looking for part time jobs and filling out applications. I don't relish the idea of holding down two jobs, but... You gotta do what you gotta do. But it was all to no avail. NOBODY wanted to hire me. But I keep trying... I sold an old keyboard, which was a HUGE breakthrough. I had been trying to sell it for months, and found that one of my coworkers needed it. Yay!
If you have ever read any of my previous posts, you know how much I love animals. Well, God's funny. He gave me a kind of head-smack a couple of weeks ago. I was sort of complaining, telling him how hard it all is, how I can't find work. That's when I got the "wake up" head-smack. It went something like this... "You love animals, right? And you have cared for ALL sorts of them for friends and family, right? You have experience with dogs, cats, horses, birds, and even piranhas, right?... Advertise as a pet sitter already!! God's pretty smart, in addition to being funny. I mean, what a great idea! Do something I LOVE to do, and get paid for it? Brilliant!
I started composing some ads... I posted on craigslist and facebook marketplace. As of this very moment, I have two paying jobs booked! One for a lady who saw my ad on craigslist. She has a whole variety of animals and wants ME to take care of them. Another for an acquaintance/friend of mine... She heard from our mutual friend that I was going into the pet sitting business and gave me a call! Not a bad start, eh? I am super excited! I get to help people and animals! I get to have fun! I get to make money doing it! Hooray!
God, thanks for the head-smack! You rock!
For MONTHS I have been looking for ways to supplement my income. I have debts to pay, and I need to save for school. I have spent hours every day, looking for part time jobs and filling out applications. I don't relish the idea of holding down two jobs, but... You gotta do what you gotta do. But it was all to no avail. NOBODY wanted to hire me. But I keep trying... I sold an old keyboard, which was a HUGE breakthrough. I had been trying to sell it for months, and found that one of my coworkers needed it. Yay!
If you have ever read any of my previous posts, you know how much I love animals. Well, God's funny. He gave me a kind of head-smack a couple of weeks ago. I was sort of complaining, telling him how hard it all is, how I can't find work. That's when I got the "wake up" head-smack. It went something like this... "You love animals, right? And you have cared for ALL sorts of them for friends and family, right? You have experience with dogs, cats, horses, birds, and even piranhas, right?... Advertise as a pet sitter already!! God's pretty smart, in addition to being funny. I mean, what a great idea! Do something I LOVE to do, and get paid for it? Brilliant!
I started composing some ads... I posted on craigslist and facebook marketplace. As of this very moment, I have two paying jobs booked! One for a lady who saw my ad on craigslist. She has a whole variety of animals and wants ME to take care of them. Another for an acquaintance/friend of mine... She heard from our mutual friend that I was going into the pet sitting business and gave me a call! Not a bad start, eh? I am super excited! I get to help people and animals! I get to have fun! I get to make money doing it! Hooray!
God, thanks for the head-smack! You rock!
A Large Dose of Reality
Today was a sad day. Do you ever have those? Days when the darker side of reality presents itself to you in a new way. A day when you thank your lucky stars that you have the blessings that you usually take for granted... Today was that day for me.
I came face to face with some ugly reality today. Reality in the life of a person I met for the first time this morning. Reality that cuts your heart up into little pain filled pieces, and sparks anger deep inside. Sadness and anger. Anger at the injustice and at my inability to go back in time and prevent the pain this person is going through. Sadness that I can't. Sadness that there is nothing tangible I can do to help, so I offer comfort and love and pray hard (which, I guess IS a lot of help, now that I think about it). Sadness that this kind of reality exists so often in our world and that it often gets overlooked.
So I ask this of you, my readers: Take some time today, and actively seek out things to be thankful for in your life. And look for a way that you can help change one person's dark reality. Even a genuine smile can change a person's day, change their life. Here are some ideas I had, to get you started...
Thankful For:
1. A loving God
2. A family who loves me and wants the best for me
3. Food to eat and a bed to rest in
4. Friends to share my life with
5. A job to help provide for my needs and wants
6. The ability to articulate my feelings (So many people can't)
Change a Dark Reality:
1. Offer a smile
2. Hug the children in my life more often
3. Find ways to be helpful to people I take for granted
4. Listen to a person's story and let them know I genuinely care
5. Pray earnestly for those I know are struggling
6. Befriend the friendless
It seems like a lot when I list it out. A lot to be thankful for, and a lot of things to do to help. I do have a lot to be thankful for, when I actually take the time to think about it, and this list just scratched the surface... And as for the things I can do to brighten someone's reality, well, it seems like a lot, but can be done easily throughout the day if I look for opportunities, and it WILL mean a lot to those you touch...
I came face to face with some ugly reality today. Reality in the life of a person I met for the first time this morning. Reality that cuts your heart up into little pain filled pieces, and sparks anger deep inside. Sadness and anger. Anger at the injustice and at my inability to go back in time and prevent the pain this person is going through. Sadness that I can't. Sadness that there is nothing tangible I can do to help, so I offer comfort and love and pray hard (which, I guess IS a lot of help, now that I think about it). Sadness that this kind of reality exists so often in our world and that it often gets overlooked.
So I ask this of you, my readers: Take some time today, and actively seek out things to be thankful for in your life. And look for a way that you can help change one person's dark reality. Even a genuine smile can change a person's day, change their life. Here are some ideas I had, to get you started...
Thankful For:
1. A loving God
2. A family who loves me and wants the best for me
3. Food to eat and a bed to rest in
4. Friends to share my life with
5. A job to help provide for my needs and wants
6. The ability to articulate my feelings (So many people can't)
Change a Dark Reality:
1. Offer a smile
2. Hug the children in my life more often
3. Find ways to be helpful to people I take for granted
4. Listen to a person's story and let them know I genuinely care
5. Pray earnestly for those I know are struggling
6. Befriend the friendless
It seems like a lot when I list it out. A lot to be thankful for, and a lot of things to do to help. I do have a lot to be thankful for, when I actually take the time to think about it, and this list just scratched the surface... And as for the things I can do to brighten someone's reality, well, it seems like a lot, but can be done easily throughout the day if I look for opportunities, and it WILL mean a lot to those you touch...
God, sad as this day was, thank you for reminding me how many things I have to be thankful for. And thank you that you know the best way to help the person I met today and that you are faithful to do so.
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