I Did It!!!!

Ok, so I have a wonderful friend named James. He lives in England and is also applying for school through UCAS. I have been having trouble contacting UCAS to ask questions about my application. James is a dear, and called them for me. Now that I have the answers to those questions... I filed my application today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I am asking for prayers. PLEASE pray for God to have His hand on my application. That the right person reads it. That, whatever the outcome, I will be able to be ok with it... Thank you all for the prayers I know you are saying, and the love and support I feel from you all!

Things I've Learned

I have worked in child care, professionally, for 7 years. (Not counting the decade or so of baby sitting before that.) And I've learned a thing or two. I thought I would fill you in, in case you are considering a job in this line. You know, just so you really know what you're getting into...

1. If you are already having a bad day, and you have a child in your care with a sensitivity to milk, seat them on the opposite side of the table from you. Why? Because this child will most likely have "drinkable" yogurt as a substitute. This child WILL find a way to spill the entire container of yogurt down the right side of your body. A large portion of the yogurt WILL end up in your hair. And no matter how much you rinse your hair and scrub it with baby wipes, it will dry in crispy clumps and smell fruit medley-tastic for the rest of the day.

2. If you have unfortunate yogurt mishaps, it is important to work for a boss like mine. She will understand that the yogurt was really the last straw, and will send you home 45 minutes early, so that you can wash your hair, then curl up into a ball and hide.

3. If there is more than one child in the room, DO NOT give any child either a piggy back ride, a horsey ride, an air-plane, etc. Because if you do, you will have to give ALL the children one.

4. You will, at some point, have poop, vomit, snot, urine, or eye crusty things rubbed on you... It's a fact of life, just get over it.

5. If a coworker is changing a diaper SO bad, that you can hear them dry-heaving from the next room... It is important to laugh hysterically at this coworker, then regale them with all the stories of horrible diapers you have changed and the reasons they have no right to complain.

6. You can eat in ANY circumstances, if you're hungry enough. Even while a child is puking all over the table...

7. At some point in your career, you will find yourself on your break, crying to your mommy on the phone, asking her why in the world you ever entered this profession.

8. After crying on the phone, you will go back to your class. There will be a child who recognizes your distress. This child will look at you very pointedly, pretend to trip, shoot mock-accusing glares at all the kids near by, then smirk at you while raising his eyebrows. You will then bust up laughing, hug this child, and miraculously feel all better.

9. CHILDREN ARE TAPE RECORDERS! Anything you or their parents say WILL be repeated.

10. It is VERY amusing to tell your friends all the things kids say that their parents said.

11. If you overhear a little girl telling a little boy "You have to get an erection." and turn to stare at her in horror, she will then say to the little boy "Otherwise, how are you gonna know how to get there? You have to follow the erections." You will then understand and instruct the girl on how to correctly pronounce the word "direction."

12. If you tell a child you road on a ferry, you will later hear that child explaining to the others, that a little person with wings picked you up and carried you where you wanted to go.

13. Never, under any circumstances, think, "Well, it can't get any worse." Trust me, it can...

To be honest, I could keep writing this post for days. But I'll leave you with this thought: When it comes down to it, the insanity is worth it, because of faces like these...

I Have No Name For This Post

Well... I don't have anything to say, really. I just thought I would waste the time of the three or four people who follow this blog and will get notification of a new post. hehe! I'm mean!

I had my birthday last week. It was a blast! (I'll post some pictures next time, I forgot to get a CD from Tiff, who took the pictures.) My amazing friend Tab, set the whole thing up. She told me back in May, that she had found the perfect place for my birthday party. She then said it was a surprise... So I had six months of waiting to find out where it was going to be. Six months! And every so often she would mention it again, just to make me crazy... It was great though. Four hours before the party, she told me how to dress... 50s style. I got all excited and started preparing. The hardest part, was figuring out which outfit to wear... Tab gave me step-by-step directions to the party. I ended up at Chubby's. It's this GREAT little 50s style diner. Some of the guests had dressed up too. My cake was an amazing jukebox that Tab had made from scratch... We played games and ate some good old fashioned American burgers. It was SO MUCH FUN! After the party, some of us went to see the new 3D version of A Christmas Carol... I felt well and truly spoiled. THANKS TAB!!! And to everyone who came, THANK YOU!

Well, I guess I did have a little bit to say... But I don't have anything else. :/ I'm a little bit sorry I wasted your time, but not enough to actually avoid posting this! Love you!

Oops!

Okay, okay! I know it's been a really unreasonable length of time since my last blog, but... Well... I really have no excuse.

But if I were to have excuses, this would be one of them... I realized two weeks ago, that it had been four months since I had slept more than 3 hours total in one night... What made me clue in? It was terrible. I felt like I was losing mind, literally. I love to read, but one of my favorite books, that I practically have memorized, and which, though over 800 pages long, I usually finish in a day or two, it had taken me about three weeks to read four chapters. I would have conversations with people, then two minutes later, have no idea what we had just talked about. I would watch favorite show or movie, and not take in any of it. Now, usually, I remember even the most unnecessary details... So clearly, something was wrong. My friend Tabitha had been pestering me to go to the doctor about it, but I was convinced that it would sort itself out. Until a week and a half ago. I finally reached my breaking point. I basically walked up to my boss and told her I was leaving, and going to the doctor. Being the caring and understanding person that she is, she sent me off. The doctor did some blood work and gave me lovely Ambien to use for two weeks to give me a break while they figure out what's going on... I have a follow up appointment on Thursday. I got a call about my blood work and I have a vitamin D deficiency. Given how I avoid the sun, that's not really surprising. What was surprising, is that the nurse said that a huge part of the population does too. So I am on massive amounts of vitamin D2... Sleep issues, one of my non-excuses... Not that I really have any others...

This last week sure has been exciting... On Tuesday night, I started having pain in my stomach. I didn't pay much attention to it until Wednesday. On Wednesday, at 3:00 am, I was jerked out of a sound, Ambien induced sleep, by the pain. I was actually writhing in pain. That's never happened to me before. The pain was making me nauseous. Nothing I took helped... I left work after only a couple of hours. The pain kept coming in waves. It would be super intense for a while then it would subside. I was taking large doses of Extra Strength Tylenol, just to avoid barfing from the pain, but it only took the edge off, it never fully relieved it. I arranged not to be at work that Thursday, as it didn't seem to be improving... Well, Thursday it was worse. Instead of waves of this out of control pain, it was constant. Nothing helped. My mom had been out, and when she got back, I asked her to take me to the hospital. I've never seen her looked so shocked... She took me, and a few hours later, when she got off work, Tabitha came too. It was an endless process. I had an initial exam, then stomach x-rays, blood tests, and a cat-scan. Did they find out what was wrong? No. I was given pain medication, and told to follow up with my doctor, but come in if it got worse or other symptoms appeared. Thanks, docs... Oh, did you ever wonder what it looks like when someone with really sensitive skin and difficult veins is given an IV? Or rather, when they try two different times to get one on one arm, and can't... Like this.

Did you ever wonder what it might look like if a vein explodes during a Cat-scan? Like this.

You can't really see the scope of the bruise in this photo, but it was the best one. The bruise is about four inches across... Ah, yes... It's so pleasant having difficult veins... I have slowly been getting better. Saturday was a bad day, but yesterday was good, except for feeling totally beat.

Now on to a different topic. You know, the one this blog is supposed to be about... School. This morning I tracked down the phone number for UCAS. There are a couple of questions I need to ask them before I can finally submit my application. My plan is to call tomorrow morning. If I get answers, then I will just pay my application fee, and I'll be all applied again! Woo Hoo!

Have a great week!

Da Moon! Da Moon!

I HATE hot weather and sunshine. For one, I am always MUCH too warm. (I wear tank-tops, shorts, and flip-flops in the snow.) For another, my EXTREMELY pale and sensitive skin burns in the sun in about 5 minutes, even when drowned in SPF 50 sunblock. And finally, because, direct sunlight makes me break out in very painful hives... Maybe I'm an albino...

As you can imagine, Summer is a difficult time of year for me. While most of the people living in the Pacific Northwest celebrate the sunny days, I tend to hide from them in terror and cry. I visualize a home in Alaska, with a giant glacier in the back yard. A glacier I can go and sit on any time I want, and cool off. This home is surrounded by massive cedar trees, that block the sun. And all around, the most amazing wildlife thrives for me to observe... Sigh...

But alas! I do not live in Alaska. Over the years, I have become quite adept at reading the signals that nature gives us to indicate the close of Summer and the beginning of Fall... The first indication that Fall is coming, is the spiders. A few weeks before the weather begins to cool, giant wolf spiders and tiny jumping spiders start trying to move into houses.... Three weeks ago, the first giant wolf spider arrived in my bathroom. I put him in a jar, chased my brother around the house with him, then took him to work to show my kids. They were thrilled. They wanted to hold him, pet him, and give him a name. I let them name him (Ricardo) but said he might get scared if they tried to hold him and left it at that. (Side note: Have you noticed how so many of our fears are learned? Those children had no fear of darling Ricardo, they wanted to pet him. A lot of the teachers there freaked out when they saw him. Kids are ready to accept a lot more than adults. They only begin to fear things like spiders after seeing adults' reactions to them.) We had a brief science lesson, then took Ricardo to a nice shrub outside. Some of the kids got a little teary when they said good bye... Since Ricardo found his way inside, I have found three jumpy spiders, and two more wolf spiders... Fall is on the way!

The second indication the Fall is coming, is a faint change in the air. It's kind of hard to describe, but most of you have probably felt that subtle change. A slight nip, even when it's still quite warm. I first felt that two weeks ago. (YAY!)

Third, the geese. Two weeks ago, the geese started heading South! WooHoo! Nearly every day I see at least one large flock of geese making their yearly journey. (I did a little dance when I saw the first flock!)

And the fourth and final signal is... The moon! When Summer ends and Fall/Harvest time is imminent, the moon changes. Ahhh. The harvest moon! Last night as I was driving home from Stauffer-land (aka my friends' house) I saw the moon shining above, brilliant orange in color! I wish I'd had my camera! It was SO beautiful, and the final confirmation that my season of torment is nearly over.

Saying Good Bye

This has been a rough week for my family. My baby brother, Zach, left for college yesterday. I have been feeling quite sad and nostalgic. I was almost 8 years old when he was born. There were no other kids between us. I was SO excited to learn that I would be getting a new baby brother or sister. The months of waiting seemed to last forever. When it got closer to the big day, I went with my mom to one of her midwife appointments. I listened in awe to the sound of my new brother or sister's heartbeat...

As the day approached, a lot of changes went on in the house. One change was that I was bought a new bed. This bed would not only be mine, but the new baby would be born on it, as my mom and dad's bed was a water bed. I know what you are thinking, "Ewww!" right? But we did all that was needed to keep it from being befouled. I was ridiculously excited by the fact that the baby would be born on my bed, and that I would get to see it. (Incidentally, for all parents of daughters, letting your daughter witness a birth, is a sure-fire way to guarantee that said daughter will be a good girl in her teens.)

Summer ended. I went back to the first day of school with one of my older brothers, Brad. When mom dropped us off, she told us that the new baby would probably be born that night! Little did I know in my haze of almost 8 year old excitement, that she was in labor and feeling a great deal of pain already. I skipped blithely off to school, to spread the news that I would soon be a big sister.

I stayed up all night. My dad tried to get me to sleep for a while in his and mom's bed, but I was having none of that. After over 17 and a half hours of labor, Zachary David Victor was welcomed into the world. He was born at 12:02 am on September the sixth. (I got out of the second day of school ;) He was 22 and a half inches long and weighed in at a whopping 9 pounds 13 ounces. My mom had three other kids before Zach, and she thought she was all done, when only his head was out! BIG baby... I was the proudest big sister in the world. My heart was captured, forever.
Yep, this picture was taken minutes after Zach was born. And despite the sleepy, half confounded look on my face, I think you can see the immense love and joy shining through...

Over the years, my relationship with Zach has had its ups and downs. What sibling relationship doesn't? But I have been so blessed to be a part of his life and to have him in mine. I cried the day he got his driver's licence. I couldn't believe how old he was! I mean, hadn't he just gone to his first day of kindergarten? That first day, when I forgot to pick him up at the bus stop so he had to ride all the way to the bus garage and then back to school where mom had to pick him up... On the whole though, ours has been a very close relationship. Closer than most brother/sister relationships I think. We have been there for each other, comforted each other, laughed hysterically over stupid movies, and yelled with mirth while bashing each other black and blue. Well actually, I punch him as hard as I can making little or no impact, while he barely touches me and I end up black and blue. They boy is ridiculously strong... I was unbelievably excited the day he told me he was auditioning for the high school concert choir. I loved going to his games and stuff, but I couldn't really relate to his love of sports. Choir was something I understood, and that brought us even closer. And in choir, he met his amazing girlfriend Nicole. I have always been rather possessive of Zach, but Nicole more than meets with my approval. :) Then, this day happened...

Graduation day.

(Above with Nicole, Below with all sibs and mom)

Seeing as how I cried when he got his licence, you can guess how this day went... So we have spent the summer, trying to see each other as much as possible, which, let's face it, hasn't been much. We both have been extremely busy. Then all of the sudden, on Friday, he was packing for college!
A bunch of us went down with him. He is attending Pacific Lutheran University. He had to be down 2 weeks early for football. We helped him get his stuff into his dorm, then went for a stroll around the campus be fore going to the football BBQ.

(He's checking to see if the light bulb is broken, in case you were wondering)

Strolling through campus

It was such a hard day... I am so proud of the man that he has become. He is so honorable, loving, strong, intelligent, talented, and kind. It was so hard to say good bye. But that is what we had to do. This is the good bye moment:

You can see the tears threatening to break out... I love you Zach, and I miss you like crazy already. I am so proud of you and who you are. I can't wait to see you again.

Spotty Blogger

Yeah, I know, I am very spotty in my blogging. But if you remember, in the beginning, I said I wanted to keep this regular, but I wasn't making any promises. So you can't be annoyed! (Evil laugh)

Last week was nuts! The work schedule was all over the place. On top of that, all my kids graduated on Thursday! :( All the kids who will now be leaving me to go to kindergarten, I have known for four years! I used to be a toddler teacher, and had most of them as toddlers as well as preschoolers. We have gotten very close and love each other a LOT. It is terribly sad to think I won't get to see them every day any more. Yes, I have had a lot of kids leave and move on over the course of my six and three quarters years working in this field. That doesn't change anything though. I will miss them SO much!

I spent a goodly portion of this morning working on my Fall 2010 application for school. I am nearly done! I just have to check something with UCAS and make my payment! I am praying really hard that this one goes through, and would be really grateful for your prayers too!

Mixed Emotions

Well, the word finally came yesterday... I didn't get into school for the 2009-2010 school year. I wasn't terribly surprised. I mean, I applied REALLY late. It would have been an absolute miracle if I had made it in.

I'm quite disappointed and sad. I'm also relieved. I really want to go to school, move to England, as soon as I can. I'm ready to start the next chapter. But when I think of ALL the things I would have needed to do before September... Well, that's where the relief comes in.

I am going to re-apply for next Fall, as soon as I can get my UCAS information updated.

I am feeling a confusing amount of emotions. On top of the disappointment, sadness, and relief, I feel annoyed, angry, heartbroken, and all alone. I also feel a little bit like a failure. I know that the "alone" and "failure" feelings are just lies, but they are there. I trust that God knows what I am feeling and what I need to do to make this work. So... Here I go again. The process of applying and waiting, starts again...

Sleep Deprivation Sickness

I haven't been sleeping much lately, for several reasons...

1. The most evil, diabolical rooster in the world, moved into the neighborhood

2. Emotional drama

3. The worry over weather or not I'll get into school

4. The heat (Though the last couple of nights have been cooler)

And the most recent reason I haven't been sleeping, at least the reason last night:

5. Edwin

Edwin is the kitten that I brought to join our family. He arrived last night. It's been a lot of years since we had a kitten. Our other cat SeverusSnape (AKA "Sev") came to us when he was already full grown... I had forgotten just how insecure a six week old kitten can be. Don't get me wrong, I love how attached he is to me already, but... Well, I got about three hours of sleep last night. The other sleep interrupting problems I mentioned before, already had me slightly insane from lack of sleep, not to mention fantasizing about rooster hunting. I mean I spent a lot of time yesterday either laughing hysterically over mildly funny things, or bursting into tears over Hallmark Card commercials. So take my already exhausted self, my precarious mental state, and my rather turbulent emotions, then add on top of that a night of three hours of broken sleep... That should give you an idea of my present state of being. The good thing though, is that I have a kitten who adores me and follows me everywhere. So after work today, I will take my less than happy self home, and get some kitty snuggles.

Cue the Jeopardy Music

I HATE waiting... The Jeopardy music has been playing in my head non-stop for the last couple of weeks. I just want to know what's going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really want to go to school this Fall, but IF I am going to get in, I need to know ASAP so I can apply for my visa and for financial aid. That could take forever... So I just sit around waiting, slowly being driven insane by the blasted Jeapardy music. At least if I really do go crazy, I'll get to meet the nice men in white jackets. And I will get to spend time in a nicely padded room. I bet it would be quiet in there. I could use some quiet... Although, the quiet might not help get the stupid song out of my head. In fact it would probably just make it easier to hear the wretched song... I changed my mind, no padded room! Please, if I go crazy, put me in a public ward with LOTS of noise and bother.



Changing the subject... I wonder if I could pull off everything I need to get done, if I get accepted for this Fall... I mean, IF I get in, it would be a total God thing anyway. The deadline for this Fall was a couple of months ago, so getting accepted late, will be a miracle. So I know that God would help sort out all the details. It just seems rather daunting. hmmmm.

Slacker

Yeah, I know. It's been awhile. I'm slacking. Sorry. Life has been... Interesting...

As of my last post, a lot has changed in my life. The biggest thing being, that my friend, Ben, returned to the UK. He left a week ago today. It's been rough, and has occupied a lot of my mind lately, which is why I haven't written.

On the school front, well, I'm waiting. As of this morning, my application is still under consideration. I have no idea when the school will make a decision, and that is driving me crazy. If I knew when I'd hear, whatever the answer, I could cope a lot better. Not knowing has always bugged me, and with something this important, it's nearly making me completely insane. Yuck... I hate uncertainty, but then, who enjoys it, really? I mean, it's always easier to deal with whatever life throws at you, once it happens. That's been my experience anyway.

So, I don't really have anything to report at the moment. But I'll write as soon as I know anything.

A Sense of Accomplishment

Yay for me!!!!!!!!!! I did it! I actually finished and submitted my application for school in England! Happy dance! (I really did do a happy dance!) My information will be processed in the next couple of days...





Ok, now I'm freaking out a little! I can't believe I just applied for university... In ENGLAND! What's wrong with me? What made me think I could do something like that? Seriously! This brand of boldness is so not like me... Or, the old me I guess.





Ok, I've stopped freaking out, for the moment. How come there's never anybody to hug at moment like this? I'm gonna go find someone.





Hold on........................................................................................................................................


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Ok, hugs done! :-D Eek! My heart is racing with excitement! I can hardly sit in my chair! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to just flip out at you on this post, but there is little else I'm capable of at the moment! I can't honestly remember ever being this excited in my life. The time I visited the house in England they used for Mr. Darcy's house, Pemberly, comes close though! hahahahahaha!

Yikes!

Yay! I got my essay proof-read by two amazing people, and yesterday... I uploaded it to UCAS!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!! Now, all I have left is to pay the application fee! That's it! Then I'm all applied for school! Unfortunately that will have to wait until payday. :(





I can't believe I'm nearly, officially applied for school. It seems so unreal. At the beginning of this, it felt like the application process would never end. Now it almost has. Then comes the waiting to hear if I got in. Yikes! I'm so nervous! My stomach ties up in knots, just thinking about it. What if I'm not accepted? That is a truly terrible thought. It makes me want to hide in a hole under a rock, and never come out again. I want this so badly.



I've been feeling very lucky lately. I have such an amazing group of friends, and a fabulous family. They are all so supportive and encouraging. I don't have a clue why they all hang around me, but I'm so glad that they do! I want to say to all my friends and family, here and abroad, I love you all so much and I am so thankful for each and every one of you!

Feeling "Blah"

It's been one of those days... One of those weeks actually. It seems like nothing is going right. Work has been really tough. I'm not sure what the problem there, is exactly. I've not been sleeping either. That doesn't help. I don't know... I just feel a bit dull, really.

I feel stupid for feeling that way. I've got a three day weekend coming up. I've got plans to hang out with my good friend Tara on Saturday night. I am excited about that, it's been so long since we got together. My niece may be spending some time with me over Sunday night... But still "blah."

My suspicion is, that as things are not moving as quickly as I would like, school-wise, my disappointment is coloring my outlook. (Yes, I did spell color without a "u," I'm not in England yet! :D )

I want so badly to know if I'll be going to England. I know I'll get there eventually, I'm determined, but school is a perfect vehicle for that, and I badly want my Zoology degree. And I loathe the term "eventually." I hate indefinites like that...

Sorry I'm whining and moaning... As I said, it's been one of those weeks... I have faith that all things work together for good, for those who love God. I love God a LOT. So I am not really as hopeless as I might sound at the moment! In fact, I'm feeling better as I type it all out, getting it all of my chest I suppose. Anyway, have a blessed holiday weekend!

I Wonder...

Today, I have been wondering... Do people actually read this thing? I was having trouble with some settings for a while, so the comments were disabled, but my blog only has two followers... And they are two of my best friends and they follow it because they know I'll make them if they don't. I feel so bad if I don't keep this blog up to date, but am I just wasting my worry? hmmm... Is my life really at all interesting to other people? I have no idea. Oh, well... I'll just keep on typing, it's fun regardless.

Yay For Me!

I am feeling a great swell of pride over a recent accomplishment... I finished typing my essay! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!! I got it done while my kids were sleeping... You know, my students. I sent a copy of it, via email, to my second mother, who is an English teacher, to proof-read. After I get her suggestions, I'll probably have a couple other people look over it before I submit it. I'm terribly nervous. I haven't actually written anything even remotely resembling an essay in almost eight years. Eek!



I have suddenly found the excitement over my plan to move, which has been missing of late. In the midst of all the chaos of life, and trying to get all of this stuff done, I had lost the excitement. If anyone asked me how the application process was going, or if I had done anything more with it, I would feel all annoyed, worried, and scared. But now, I don't have a clue why I was feeling that way! I feel just as excited as I did the very first day I decided to go. Life suddenly looks bright again A combination of school application stuff, work stuff, classes, and personal stuff had me thinking that I might as well forget it, but now... WOO HOO!!!!!!!! I'm moving to England!!!! I almost feel as though I already got my acceptance, financial aid, and visa!!!



I am resisiting the urge to do a dance around the room... I'm at work, and the children are still sleeping... If any of my bosses ask though... I was ONLY working on school stuff, NOT blogging. hehehe ;)

Ugh!

Time is something I need more of. I mean, I'm writing this at 5:40 in the morning for crying out loud! It is the only chance I've had in days. I often wish that I had a magic wand, or a time turner, then I could either get everything I need to done by magic, or I could do hours over again to give myself more time. That would be really nice...

Anyway, school stuff... So, in my last blog, I said that I had gotten my reference in. I also said that my goal for the day was to type up my essay... Well, I'm trying not to focus too much on my failures, except as opportunities to learn... I have learned, that setting goals, while great in general, need to be a bit more realistic to your present situation. I mean, I actually haven't looked at my essay since I finished the very first, really rough draft... hmmmm.

So here is an attempt at setting a more realistic goal... My goal is, at some point this week, to at least read through what I have written, and make a few improvements. Also to begin typing it, even if only a couple of words.

That looks slightly do-able. I mean, between, homework, class, worship practice, more classes, preparing for my friends wedding (I'm not in it, but I need a haircut, to wax my eyebrows, and find something to wear.), going to the wedding, finding time for friends and family so our relationships can remain healthy, work, and trying not to crack up... My time table is pretty full up... So, if I can reach my goal for the week, I'll be rather proud. Because looking at the list of all I have to do this week, and every week, suddenly makes me realize, that maybe, just maybe, the "realistic" goal I set for myself, was more ambitious than I thought...

Nearly There

Ok. So, this morning I added my reference letter to my UCAS application. One more step and the application is done! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!! Today, my goal is to get my essay typed up and get it emailed to some people for proof reading. I have gotten rather behind on things lately. With school and stuff, I've hardly had a moment to think about anything. I really want to get this all in though. Going to school in England, and getting to be near my friends and family there, even for a season, has become an intense longing. I miss them all so much, even the ones I haven't met yet! It sounds crazy, I know, but it's true.



I'm feeling insanely optimistic about the future. More optimistic than I have ever felt before. It feels strange to feel like the future is so bright. I never thought I would ever be brave enough to attempt to chase after my dreams this way. God has changed my life in so many ways. I am constantly in awe of his goodness and love. I find it difficult to believe that he loves me so much. Every day I feel a new measure of his love, and every day it surprises me. I feel totally dumbfounded by it. But I am so thankful. I am truly blessed to have God as my father.

Um, Yeah

Hmmm. It's been a while... Sorry! Things have been totally nuts around here...

So I got the rough draft of my admissions essay finished. And that's about all I've had time to do. I haven't looked at it once since then. Between work, Bible school, homework, and keeping in touch with friends, I've barely even seen my family. :o(

I found out yesterday, that the reference letter I need, isn't just a basic reference letter. So two other people have been trying to figure out what it is I need. While looking up more information online for me, Ben discovered that I possibly need to get some kind of US to UK school equivalency letter. If I do need it, that's another hundred bucks out of my wallet. (EEK!) Needless to say, I was feeling a bit down about it all.

But today, the day looks brighter in so many ways. I have faith that God is in this decision, so I know that He'll help with the details.

Flip Flop

The past few days have been kind of rough. My lack of inspiration on my essay, has had me second guessing my decision to go to school. I mean, if I can't even write about why I should be accepted, should I even be going? I can list the reasons, I can list my qualifications, I can list the dreams that fired the decision...But I can't write the essay. Ugh! Please pray for me! I know, despite my recent doubts, that this is something that I'm supposed to do. So I need God's help!

Yesterday, in the hope of spurring myself on, I sent the reference information to my Pastor. He had agreed, when I asked him last week, to write a reference for me. He seemed like the best choice. He's known me for 16 years, he's my pastor, I work in a business owned by the church, which makes him my boss, and he's the head of the School of Eagles Bible School that I am attending part-time. See what I mean by "the best choice?"

So, today, my goal is to finish a rough draft of my essay... Even if it kills me! I can't stand this flip-flopping around in my mind. My decision is made. So now, I am determined to charge ahead like I did in the beginning. I want to get this application process done, so I can move on to the next phase of the journey. What's the next phase? Waiting... Waiting to see if I get accepted to school. Then I begin the process of applying for my visa and for financial aid. Then I'll get to wait some more...

Plugging Along

Well, I'm nearly done with the application process. All I have left, is to write and post my Personal Statement Essay, get my referral, and pay the application fee.

I write all the time. I journal 8-12 pages a day. I blog, obviously. I'm half-way through writing a novel. I have written countless poems and short stories. Can I write an essay about why I want to get into a Zoology course, and why I should be chosen? No. That's a big, fat, NO. I followed all of the UCAS tips, such as, listing interests and qualifications. It didn't help. I read over the one my friend Ben wrote, when he applied through UCAS, did I get inspired? Nope. hmmmm.... Here I am, writing away, and I can't even string together one sentence about why I should be chosen to attend a Zoology course. I can talk about it to everybody, no problem, but the instant I try to write or type about it... Well, let's just say, my mind goes blank. (That's one way to put it anyway.) What to do? If anybody has any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them. Writer's block is a new experience for me. Typically the problem is trying to stop writing.

Aaahhhhh!!! I don't know what to do!

Forms You Fill Out, In Order To Be Able To Fill Out Forms

So, this morning I started the school application process. In the UK this is quite different than in the US. For starters, you don't apply directly to the schools you want to attend. Instead you fill out one application on UCAS. UCAS is a university data base thingy. They receive all the applications for all the schools. Then you tell them which schools you want to apply to. They then make sure that copies of your information go to each of your potential schools. After that, there is an interview process, and then the schools decided if they want to give you an offer. The system seems great. I mean, you have one application and one application fee. Not like here, where you have to fill out hundreds of applications and pay hundreds of application fees.

Now, in order to be able to apply through UCAS, you have to register into the UCAS system... Well, that particular registration takes between 15 and 20 minutes, according to the website... So, I spent forever this morning, filling out forms online, so that I can fill out more forms online later. Yeah... Just the kind of way I like to spend my morning. Filling out forms, to be able to fill out forms. Not to mention the fact, that several of the questions they asked, didn't translate into American English. So, for many of the questions, I had to push the "help" button and read a full page in order to figure out what information they were asking for. Fun times.

After finally finishing the registration process, I was ready to begin the application. Yay! I managed to complete one whole section, before the words on the computer screen started to blur. After an hours worth of concentrated effort, I had gotten the "Personal Information" section of my application finished... hmmm. Not as much progress as I would have hoped, I mean, after all of that work, they now know my full name and my address... Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get two more sections done! (I've always been a big dreamer.)

Ducky Decisions

So, today, I almost changed my mind about moving to England...

I got to thinking about everything I would be leaving behind me. The list just grew and grew...
My family. My church family. The majority of my closest friends. My niece and nephews. My dog, cat, rat, and parrot. My car Gloria, which I'll have to sell. My job. My mom's hugs... But the thing that nearly put me over the edge, the thing that nearly changed my mind, was... Ice cream. I know! I know! It's ICE CREAM! When you look at a list of all those vitally important things like family, it was ice cream that nearly did it... But it's not just ANY ice cream... It's Mallard's Chocolate-Lavender ice cream! Seriously! No ice cream can compare! I mean, this particular ice cream is all the proof the world will ever need, that there is a God, and He loves us... It's like a edible bit of Heaven... (sigh) How can I leave it behind?...

Fortunately, I smacked myself up-side the head. I remembered the fact that Mallard's will (God willing) still be here when I get back. And that waiting so long for another taste, will make that eventual taste, all the sweeter!

So the trip is still on! Ice cream made by a company, that's named after a duck, didn't win this battle!

On a side note... It occurred to me just now, that as I want to eventually master in Ornithology, is it any wonder that my all time favorite ice cream is made by a company called "Mallard's"?

A Big Day

Well, the day started out normally... Insanely early. I have to be up for work at 5:00 am. (Shudder) I had an appointment to meet with my Pastor today at 11:00 am... That's my lunch break. I headed up, and found him in the usual hurry. He always has about 50 things on at once. He ran swiftly through the hall, telling me he'd be right there and went to assign a couple of people a few dozen jobs. When he returned, we headed into the office and set about the meeting. The beginning was just me relaying some information about the Easter drama my friend Tab and I putting together. He listened and took notes, and I swear I saw him smirk as I wound up that part and stumbled, rather clumsily into the next...



Well, I dove in. I explained my long-time desire to open up a rehabilitation farm. Not an ordinary one. One where wounded wildlife and wounded teens can help each other to heal... Well, one of the things I need to help me on that path, is a degree in Zoology. I also want to get a masters in Ornithology. God has given me a great love for animals, especially birds, and a great love for teens... He just kept listening and nodding. Not saying a word... I went on to say that I have always wanted to live in Europe, at least for a while. (More nodding) So I explained about school. I told him about everything. It just gushed right out! About the divine connections God had made for me. The growing number of friends and "family" that I have in the UK...



I sputtered to a stop after a while and said. "S-s-so. I just w-w-wondered what you thought about it, and if I had your blessing to pursue it." (The stuttering was a reaction to the level of excitement I was feeling, not fear. I knew that whatever his answer was, he would give it in a way that built me up.)



After nodding some more, he spoke... He said that it sounded like a great idea to him. That he thought I would flow well with England, as I had been there and he saw how a home I felt. Also that there was PLENTY of rain, so I would be comfortable weather -wise. :o) He said that he thought my dream was an excellent one, and that it was right up my alley, and I would be quite good at it! He gave me his blessing, and I nearly jumped out of my skin with excitement! He was grinning at me at this point, and I knew he was excited for me too!



As I left the office, I was pounced on by Ben, who was waiting to hear the news. (He is going back to the UK in June, and wants to know if I'll be joining him) I grinned, but that wasn't enough... He remarked on how short the meeting was, then promptly demanded to know what happened. hehehe So I told him. "It's full steam ahead from here!" To which he replied, "YAY!" And we spent the rest of my lunch break planning. :o)



When I got back to work, my face felt oddly sore. It took me a minute to get that I had been grinning so broadly, for so long, that my facial muscles were tiring! Oh well, it didn't stop me grinning just as hugely!

Well, Not Yet

Hello folks!


So, here's the deal...


I was originally going to start this blog, when I began my studies in the UK. I saw a great potential for humorous situations as I adjusted to life across the pond, a way to relieve some of the stress of living in a new country, and a way for those back home to keep up on my goings on. Since I made the decision on Sunday that I would be going, I have already begun to discover that the potential for humor also exists in the preparation to move countries. Also, that the amount of work involved in doing so could present a lot of stress that may need to be siphoned away. So, even though the title of this blog is A Bellingham Yank in the UK... Well, not yet.


I don't promise to be a faithful blogger. I plan to be. I plan to write at least once a week. But as we all know, the best laid plans...


So, what have I done this week in preparation? Well, my good friend, Ben, who is from the UK and is studying in the US found me lots of online information about visas. He discovered what kind I'll need, and that my student visa will also allow me to be employed while I study. Yay! Also, having gone through the same process, in reverse, he compiled a handy "to do" list for me, to help begin this monumental task.



I began sifting through the information on the website of what I hope to be my future school. I discovered how to apply and what kinds of funding and scholarships are available to US students in the UK... Basically, I found a way to make my "to do" list grow by leaps and bounds... Great. Thanks for that. I was hoping to have more to do. hmmmm.



Oh well. Better to find out early on... I guess...