Flip Flop

The past few days have been kind of rough. My lack of inspiration on my essay, has had me second guessing my decision to go to school. I mean, if I can't even write about why I should be accepted, should I even be going? I can list the reasons, I can list my qualifications, I can list the dreams that fired the decision...But I can't write the essay. Ugh! Please pray for me! I know, despite my recent doubts, that this is something that I'm supposed to do. So I need God's help!

Yesterday, in the hope of spurring myself on, I sent the reference information to my Pastor. He had agreed, when I asked him last week, to write a reference for me. He seemed like the best choice. He's known me for 16 years, he's my pastor, I work in a business owned by the church, which makes him my boss, and he's the head of the School of Eagles Bible School that I am attending part-time. See what I mean by "the best choice?"

So, today, my goal is to finish a rough draft of my essay... Even if it kills me! I can't stand this flip-flopping around in my mind. My decision is made. So now, I am determined to charge ahead like I did in the beginning. I want to get this application process done, so I can move on to the next phase of the journey. What's the next phase? Waiting... Waiting to see if I get accepted to school. Then I begin the process of applying for my visa and for financial aid. Then I'll get to wait some more...