Eeep!

So, UCAS has been giving me a lot of problems again. Grrrrr! They randomly decided not to let me login to my "Track" page... Track is where you go to check the status of your application, edit information, etc. They kept telling me my login details were wrong, which they weren't. Every time I requested the "correct" information, they sent me my login details from my old application. Talk about frustrating...

I asked my buddy James, if he could call for me like he had in the past (Making him my hero). He did so, but even though I gave him all the info, like my personal ID numbers and such, they refused to tell him anything. :( I was not a happy camper.

I mean, honestly. HOW do they expect international students to get ANYthing done? If I email to their "Help" account, I just get an automated response telling me to call this number between specific hours. Naturally, these hours are when I'm sleeping or at work. HOW am I supposed to contact them then? Hmmm? And if, like me, you are lucky enough to have an amazing friend like James, who will take time out of his own hectic schedule to call for you, but they won't tell him anything, what are you supposed to do then?!

Wow, I ranted a bit. But I'm done now. Or at least, for now. As you may have noticed, I have been a tad put out. It really is the worst feeling. Having to wait to hear about how you may be spending the next few years of life, then not being able to even check to see if any progress has been made... I went a bit mad....

Today, magically, UCAS let me login. :) YAY!! I was able to check my status. My application has gone through the UCAS screening, and they have sent it to the university for consideration... Now for more waiting...

It's KILLING Me!!!!

You may be asking, "What is killing you, Kelina?" Well, the short answer is this: Suspense. I am SO not good at waiting... That's not entirely true. If I know how long I need to wait for, I'm pretty good at waiting. If the time period is vague, then waiting KILLS me. It actually causes a physical pain. The pain hits just behind the lowest ribs, round about the diaphragm. It's sharp, shooting, achy, sore, and cramp-ish all at the same time. That is the pain that is eating away at me right now. If only I knew when I would hear about school, then I could handle it, or handle it better anyway. Ugh!!

Ok, now that I've got that out of my system... A Couple of updates... We will be moving onto our new house this week! Yay!... This is the first house I have ever lived in, that I was allowed to paint, so I did, pictures coming soon!... Zach, my brother, is no longer a student at PLU but is now a student at UW. Go Huskies!... And... Hmm... I know there was something else... Crikey... Umm. Nope! It's completely gone! Oh well! Have a glorious week!

Panic Attack

I woke up today, and began having a mild panic attack. Well, not mild per-say. More of a MAJOR panic attack.

What am I thinking?!

I'm too old to go back to school!

Do I even know how to learn in that kind of environment any more?

I can't move to another continent!

It would really be better to stay here, I mean it's... Well, I was going to say "comfortable" but it's not. I am not comfortable with only half living my life...

Am I really brave enough to go, even if I do get in?

What if I don't get in?!

What if they don't grant me a visa?

Can I really move away from EVERYTHING I have ever known?

Can I really leave all my family, most of my friends?

Will my pets know me any more, when I come back for visits?

Will my niece and nephews know me?

How weird will it feel to VISIT my home?

I know a lot of these things are questions that hundreds of thousands of people have had before... But... Well, I've never really asked them before, not seriously. I gave them a cursory thought when I decided to go to school. It didn't seem as huge then though. Sort far off, you know? Hmmmm... God, help!