Monday, December 5, 2011
Wait, what?
Do you ever have a day when you just look at your life and say "Hu?" I've been having a lot of those lately. I've been struggling to keep perspective, see the big picture. Every day is filled with so many brain mushing activities. Things that need to be done, things that are necessary, but I don't really see the point. I have trouble seeing past my immediate circumstances the last several months. Knowing that I have goals that I will accomplish "someday" doesn't exactly comfort me in the everyday grind of life...
I don't really have a lot to complain about. I have a family that cares about me and (most of them, lol) like to be around me. :) I have a job, which in the current market, is something to be grateful for. I have the best friends a girl could ask for, for which I thank God every day. I have a home with a comfy bed. I have never truly been without food. I have transportation. I have the ability to communicate with those I love, and even a few strangers too. ;) I have a wonderfully amazing volunteer job working with some of the most awe-inspiring animals a person can ever hope to be around. And currently, I have the most amazing Christmas tree in my living room. And to top it all off, I have a personal relationship with the creator of the universe who happens to love me a whole lot... That's a pretty impressive list, don't you think? I am SO very grateful for all of the blessings in my life, especially when I take a moment to look around at the world around me.
I guess the "Hu?" comes from all my preconceived ideas. All the "plans" I made for myself all of my life. The things I thought I would have accomplished by this point in my life. It becomes very difficult to keep the big picture in my head when I realize that not one of the "big" things on my list of goals for my life is anywhere even close to being made a reality. Of course, I did just have a birthday a couple of weeks ago. I tend to think this way around my birthday. It's kind of like a yearly check up on my own progress. The problem being that, I don't see much progress. :/
I know what you're thinking, "Quit moaning! Didn't you JUST list how many things you have going for you?! Geez!" "Hey! Don't feel bad, just focus on all the positive things you listed above!" You would be right on both counts. But what can I say? That's how I feel today, and quite often recently.
On a brighter note, I had a wonderful week of birthday celebrations last month. I felt SO loved and SO blessed, even amidst all my yearly grumbling over my lack of goal achievement. AND it's almost Christmas! My favorite time of year! I'm going to log off now, so I can continue my vigilant prayers for snow. :)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Heat Induced Insanity
Insane. My whole life at the present moment summed up in one little word, insane. Not in a bad way, just a, well, insane way. I have been extremely busy doing things I love. Which, if I think about it, is the best kind of busy. :) On the downside, the warm weather has arrived. :( So, I am very uncomfortable. I can't stand heat. I get heat exhaustion very easily, migraines and nausea and all, not to mention the fact that I am allergic to sun. Really, I break out in very painful hives. As a result, I have quite the collection of parasols as well as umbrellas that are never used for rain. haha
I am gearing up for fair season with Sardis. I am going to 3 fairs this year. The first, the Grant County fair, runs August 15-20. A week off work, doing other work. :) I can't actually afford to take the time off, but I need a break from my usual routine. Also, there are only a few available to cover it. I'm really excited to go! Even if Grant County is predicting temperatures in the mid 90s... I love my work with Sardis and am willing to deal with the soul-crushing heat. Ah well, I can stand a week of soul-crushing, if it means being with my birds and friends. :) In September, there is the Chelan County Fair, then at the end of the month, a few days in Levenworth. I can't wait! I do a little dance of excitement every time I think about the going on the fairs. The 14th of this month is a BIG day... My one year anniversary of working at Sardis! That day falls one day before my first fair starts :)
Well, I suppose that's it for now. Have a lovely day!
I am gearing up for fair season with Sardis. I am going to 3 fairs this year. The first, the Grant County fair, runs August 15-20. A week off work, doing other work. :) I can't actually afford to take the time off, but I need a break from my usual routine. Also, there are only a few available to cover it. I'm really excited to go! Even if Grant County is predicting temperatures in the mid 90s... I love my work with Sardis and am willing to deal with the soul-crushing heat. Ah well, I can stand a week of soul-crushing, if it means being with my birds and friends. :) In September, there is the Chelan County Fair, then at the end of the month, a few days in Levenworth. I can't wait! I do a little dance of excitement every time I think about the going on the fairs. The 14th of this month is a BIG day... My one year anniversary of working at Sardis! That day falls one day before my first fair starts :)
Well, I suppose that's it for now. Have a lovely day!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Gettin' Edumicated
A couple of years ago, I found this course. The Cornell Lab of Ornithology Home Study Course in Bird Biology. I was VERY interested. At that point however, I couldn't afford it, so I tried to put it out of my mind. :/ A few weeks back, a fellow bird brain posted a link to the course page. I exclaimed that I had looked into it previously, and she asked if I wanted to take it with her...
Ummm, YES!!!
I started squealing with excitement.
After a bit though, we hit a snag. The textbook the course requires is out of print. Drat! The course site suggested looking for used copies. My friend found one for the bargain price of $300 dollars, which was $100 more than the cost of the whole course. I found one for a steal at $625. It wasn't encouraging... But, low and behold, on her birthday, she found the book delivered to her!
Last night, after much anxious anticipation, we got together. We both logged on, paid for and ordered the course materials, and started learning!
This textbook is only 10 chapters long, with a short introduction. It adds up to over 1200 pages. We spent four happy hours, reading through and taking notes on, the short introduction, ie the history of Ornithology. Yep, you read that right, four hours. :) We spent a lot of time giggling in glee and "Ooh"ing and "Aah"ing over all the information and nifty diagrams/pictures. We totally geeked out. It's fortunate that nobody was around to witness it. hahaha :)
It was an exceptionally happy evening. I got to drench myself in new information on one of my favorite topics, spend time with a good friend, and laugh my head off while snacking on some delicious smoked Gouda. What more could a girl ask for?
It was as I was driving home, still crazy hyper with joy, that it hit me... I knew from the time that I made the decision, that staying in Bellingham was the right decision, but driving home last night, I found an absolute confirmation. The step of faith I took in deciding to stay, was SO the right one. I felt SO much joy and SO much peace... I feel that life has finally begun...
(To go off this rather serious topic, I had THE MOST bizarre dreams last night! Both were related in some way to what we studied. I wish I could describe them here, but there just isn't time. ;)
Ummm, YES!!!
I started squealing with excitement.
After a bit though, we hit a snag. The textbook the course requires is out of print. Drat! The course site suggested looking for used copies. My friend found one for the bargain price of $300 dollars, which was $100 more than the cost of the whole course. I found one for a steal at $625. It wasn't encouraging... But, low and behold, on her birthday, she found the book delivered to her!
Last night, after much anxious anticipation, we got together. We both logged on, paid for and ordered the course materials, and started learning!
This textbook is only 10 chapters long, with a short introduction. It adds up to over 1200 pages. We spent four happy hours, reading through and taking notes on, the short introduction, ie the history of Ornithology. Yep, you read that right, four hours. :) We spent a lot of time giggling in glee and "Ooh"ing and "Aah"ing over all the information and nifty diagrams/pictures. We totally geeked out. It's fortunate that nobody was around to witness it. hahaha :)
It was an exceptionally happy evening. I got to drench myself in new information on one of my favorite topics, spend time with a good friend, and laugh my head off while snacking on some delicious smoked Gouda. What more could a girl ask for?
It was as I was driving home, still crazy hyper with joy, that it hit me... I knew from the time that I made the decision, that staying in Bellingham was the right decision, but driving home last night, I found an absolute confirmation. The step of faith I took in deciding to stay, was SO the right one. I felt SO much joy and SO much peace... I feel that life has finally begun...
(To go off this rather serious topic, I had THE MOST bizarre dreams last night! Both were related in some way to what we studied. I wish I could describe them here, but there just isn't time. ;)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
The last eight months or so, have been full of new experiences. I have met a lot of new people that have had amazing positive influences in my life. I have been given the opportunity to live out some of my deepest passions and dreams. Certain parts of who I am, that had been left dormant and small, have been allowed to come forward and grow. I have learned a lot about myself and who I really am. I have also learned who I am not.
I am not someone who is afraid of new things, of taking risks. I am not someone who will sit back, and allow life to pass me by. I am not someone who quietly observes another person's suffering. I am not the talentless dunce of the family, as I had long thought...
I have spent years believing that I am stuck. That I have nothing real to offer the world. That who I am is so ordinary, that nobody would really want to know me. Over the last few years, God has had me on a journey to discover the truth about myself. But the last eight months, it's been happening at an accelerated speed.
Last Summer I began making plans to go to school in England, in earnest. I found that, even though I was nervous, and a little bit scared, I was REALLY doing it! I was doing something very new and rather brave, and I wasn't too scared to do it. I was astonished at myself. The audacity of thinking the I could do such a thing!
At the first of this year, I applied for financial aid, started communicating with the school, and planning my new phase of life. Imagine my surprise to discover that I was already living a new phase of life. I was surrounded by friends new and old, by family. I had been given all kinds of new connections here. The idea of leaving Sardis and the people I have gotten to know there, people who really understand my passion for wildlife, particularly birds of prey, was difficult. My life had changed for the better since I began volunteering there. My new friends, Jess, Reed, Shayla, Evan, Bethany, Kevin, and Josh to name names, have enriched my life in a way I have never experienced before. I FINALLY found people who get excited over things like knowing the difference between a Barred Owl and a Barn Owl, like I do!!! I am no longer the bird-brain amongst the non bird-brained. :) (Thank you guys for letting me into the club and letting me be ME!)
I felt an inner nudge. I began looking into local Veterinary Technician courses. I started asking questions at Sardis about how things work...
I have made a HUGE decision.
I am staying in Bellingham... For now at least. :) Moving to England is still a dream of mine and I plan to do so for a while at some point. But for now, I am happy here, and I no longer feel stuck. I have direction. I KNOW that I am capable of getting into a foreign university, of making the plans to go, of leaving. I am not afraid to step out anymore. That is a big deal. But I also know that I am brave enough to stay. That I don't have to run away...
Life is looking a whole lot brighter
Finally, I want to say thank you to all my friends and family. You supported me as I pursued moving off the continent. You told me it was okay to go. You told me it was okay to stay. I love you all.
I am not someone who is afraid of new things, of taking risks. I am not someone who will sit back, and allow life to pass me by. I am not someone who quietly observes another person's suffering. I am not the talentless dunce of the family, as I had long thought...
I have spent years believing that I am stuck. That I have nothing real to offer the world. That who I am is so ordinary, that nobody would really want to know me. Over the last few years, God has had me on a journey to discover the truth about myself. But the last eight months, it's been happening at an accelerated speed.
Last Summer I began making plans to go to school in England, in earnest. I found that, even though I was nervous, and a little bit scared, I was REALLY doing it! I was doing something very new and rather brave, and I wasn't too scared to do it. I was astonished at myself. The audacity of thinking the I could do such a thing!
At the first of this year, I applied for financial aid, started communicating with the school, and planning my new phase of life. Imagine my surprise to discover that I was already living a new phase of life. I was surrounded by friends new and old, by family. I had been given all kinds of new connections here. The idea of leaving Sardis and the people I have gotten to know there, people who really understand my passion for wildlife, particularly birds of prey, was difficult. My life had changed for the better since I began volunteering there. My new friends, Jess, Reed, Shayla, Evan, Bethany, Kevin, and Josh to name names, have enriched my life in a way I have never experienced before. I FINALLY found people who get excited over things like knowing the difference between a Barred Owl and a Barn Owl, like I do!!! I am no longer the bird-brain amongst the non bird-brained. :) (Thank you guys for letting me into the club and letting me be ME!)
I felt an inner nudge. I began looking into local Veterinary Technician courses. I started asking questions at Sardis about how things work...
I have made a HUGE decision.
I am staying in Bellingham... For now at least. :) Moving to England is still a dream of mine and I plan to do so for a while at some point. But for now, I am happy here, and I no longer feel stuck. I have direction. I KNOW that I am capable of getting into a foreign university, of making the plans to go, of leaving. I am not afraid to step out anymore. That is a big deal. But I also know that I am brave enough to stay. That I don't have to run away...
Life is looking a whole lot brighter
Finally, I want to say thank you to all my friends and family. You supported me as I pursued moving off the continent. You told me it was okay to go. You told me it was okay to stay. I love you all.
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